Not long ago my son’s 12 and 13 were robbed at gun point not much of an eye shot away from my home, located in a nice neighborhood. At first I was in shock, then came fear, and later an anger which has your stomach filled with knots. I’m angry, I’m pissed, I’m sad, and I’m in awe. Teaching Sociology is difficult, making a living out of taking a step back from the individual and looking at the big picture is hard, especially in your own life. I often wondered when lecturing about crime, “if something personal happened to me or my family, could I take that step back, look at the bigger picture?” Well I came to this road, and it’s hard. The mother and human in me want’s to cry not only for my children but for the boy who was so foolish and cruel. I’m thankful he did not physically harm my boys, the harm is deeper than what’s visible, and crossed to my husband and daughter as well. What breaks my heart and what infuriates me, is I doubt this boy, who stole our children’s innocence has someone at home who can or wants to love him; who is for whatever reason not able to help him succeed in life.

I’m angry we have put family last in life. We say we care, but that’s bull. What’s number one is our jobs, our “success.” We show just how much we care about family when we belittle stay at home parents, when we are made by our employers to feel guilty when they are not first, when we ourselves see our self-worth in our occupations and not our children’s and loved one’s eyes. We can see just how much we care about family in what we pay teachers – so little yet we expect them to do so much, with little training, support, and respect. We can see how much we care, when a child is not performing well in school, and instead of lifting them up and seeing if the problem is potentially hunger; home issues; stress; anxiety; fear; or something else, we instead tell them they are the problem. No, WE are the problem. We say we care about the family, but do NOTHING as a society to help. How do we know how to be parents? For most it’s a guessing game, trial and error, based on what we have seen in our life. It’s easy to not care and be selfish and say, “other families don’t affect me.” But that’s a lie, it does, and it did effect my family. We need to put family first, hold parents accountable, give them tools, resources, and time to be parents. Most families work more than they see or spend time with their family, it’s sad, and the results are showing it’s true face. I’m mad because we have become a society that can’t talk, that can’t have any discourse about race, social class, really any social issue without fear of being judged.

There is no doubt race and social class are still relevant today, and we can’t seem to have any discourse and it’s heartbreaking. We can’t talk about it without fearing judgment on both sides. There are bad people in every class, race, gender, sex.. ext.. just as there are great people and more of them in each, but I fear we have become a society that can’t talk about it without fear from others or even fear losing opportunities, friends..  Fear of being judged and being judged are some of the biggest forms of censorship, how will we ever fix social issues if we don’t talk, see what others have to say, understand what their life experiences are.

We only know as much as we have been taught and have experienced, if you truly believe that, compassion and understanding comes much easier for others. We have to work together as a whole society, not just think “what does life have for me.”  We have to, as a community, work together. The police can’t do it on their own, like teachers they are under paid, under staffed, under trained, and dealing with social issues that stem at a much deeper level that what they are prepared for, have time for, and resources to deal with. In life there will be ups and downs, and when you see evil, love and kindness shines through. I couldn’t hold back tears when I heard my oldest make this statement to the sheriff, “he asked the boy if he could only take his money and not his brother’s because it was his brother’s Birthday Money”…. And as I type this I see the love of compassion of others wanting to help my youngest salvage some of the money that was taken from him.

We all want the same things in life, happiness, success, love, understanding, and compassion. Yet we have become too individualized to see how we all have more in common than differences. In my Global Understanding classes we communicated with students from around the world and found out just how similar our different cultures can be. We have put the individual before the community and have lost the ability to see our connections. This is where this blog steps in. A blog to tell stories through documentary photography, ethnographic interviews, and peer reviewed articles. My hope, my goal, my dream is to bring us all a little closer, to see Our Collective Conscience.